Thats the truth!

While going to work today.. somebody pressed a complimentray copy of a magazine called 'Tehelka' in my hand at the toll... I flipped a few pages. It contained a lot of good stuff, some gory facts on corruption, on female women going to teach in distant villages and getting raped.. I felt sick.
It had quoted a lot of realities that we know yet ignore!
I felt bad, disgusted, helpless- and then I shut it down.
Went back to my music machine and started listening to the latest songs.

It isn't that the things in the book didn't move me..I went into a loop thinking why people don't buy this mag.. what could be the circulation..why don't I hear it from my peers??

The answer lay in the first thought that had come to my mind when I had finished reading..

I don't want to think about this.. I just feel miserable and sick.. whats the use?

Whatever little time I have between work, home, A and A junior I don't want to kill it thinking about nasty things!

Selfish? Yes!

But thats the bitter truth- the convassors of societal justice will hold me guilty of first degree- charge me of indiffernce- throw statements like- what if this happened to you...

To all this I just have one answer- It happens to me , to my loved ones, to the ppl I care about, to ppl I am acquainted- does it move anybody??? as a matter of fact I AM indifferent and nothing moves me now- specially politically motivated- money for cause movements..

I want to feel this so strongly that I am forced to react- maybe it will take months - years- But I will wait for that day when one such insignificant moment jolts me enough to right the wrongs that I see.. Till then I will enjoy my music- be happy- pray for my people- and also for that one moment that will make me alive again!

Anshak's First Birthday!

We just celebrated anshak's first birthday... in the true Delhi style..

Called twenty thousand relatives, arranged lodging, a halwai for food, arranged the party venue at a plush hotel.. a DJ, magician, tattoo maker, caricaturist, a coordinator ( For the uninitiated- someone who keeps ppl occupied with small games and activities), separate expensive gifts for the boy kids and girl kids, ordered cake at the Wenger's, dressed up Anshak in a plush three piece that cost me more than one of my most expensive sarees.. shelled out more than my 4 months' salary.. there were huge arrangements- writing and rewriting of guest lists and things to do, last moment change of venue ( oh yes we were earlier hosting the party at the roof top place- if you know Delhi- roof top in the first week of January can be fatal!) layout changes ( I didn't know how much detailing happened til I hosted my first Delhi style budday party), to top it all my trusted parlour screwed up my facial and I ended up having rashes just one day before the event...

There was a huge build up of euphoria- everybody was busy , everybody working-all for Anshak's Birthday. Finally the day arrived. Everybody was dressed up in their Sunday Bests enjoying the party praising the food- the venue, the clothes, the games, the arrangement and how cute Anshak looked.

And Anshak- oh well he went to sleep as soon as he cut the cake, being awakened by the occasional change in the loud music...