I am an Indian woman.. I am independent, progressive and practical.
The Media and all of us Indians are going crazy over the state of women in India, people quoting reports that India is amongst the 5 worst places to be born a woman…
I am a little disturbed by this blatant generalization of the state of women in India.
When I say disturbed- it doesn’t meant that I am not moved by how women are treated in certain societies in certain geographies. But I also know of parents, relatives, colleagues friends, neighbors, classmates who think the safety and modesty of the woman first.
I refuse to believe that men in general are rapists, voyeuristic and bad.
Yes, there are some and we need to weed them out.
Some of us are lucky enough to have never encountered an indecent remark, an indecent gesture or and indecent proposal. But whether we talk about it openly or not most of us have been a victim of such things at some point or the other.
While enough has been said on how the govt should act, how women should ‘NOT’ dress, How voyeuristic certain men are… I think its time we took up our own defense.
I think and I know as an India woman- I have the right to wear whatever I want, I have the right to be friends with any gender I want, I have the right to party and drink if I want, I have the right to go to any place I want , I don’t have curfew hours, I have the right to live alone/or with a partner, I have the right to pursue any career I want, the law doesn’t treat me any case lesser than my male counterparts.
If my independence, my attitude, my lifestyle intimidates anybody in the world its his problem not mine.
Having said that… there are many frustrated, personally and professionally dissatisfied, drunk perverts who will try and overpower the fairer sex in the only area that she’s weak in… Physical strength and ‘if something goes wrong with me its my fault’ attitude.
B@!!$ to such God forsaken jerks… Protect yourself and never ever think that if you have been a victim of any such situation –it is because you were wrong in the first place!!
What can we do
1. Keep the PCR (Police Control Room) number handy… Delhi it is 100… so if ever ( God Forbid) anything happens – just call the number immediately- trust me I have tried and it works
The biggest mistake we do is keep mum- ‘what will others think?’ ‘how will my parents react?’ Tough as it sounds call the police.
2. Keep a pepper spray- it is cheap, very easy to carry and very very effective. And for God’s sake don’t keep it inside the inner pocket of your multi-pocket ‘can’t find anything inside this’ handbag. Keep it handy.
3. If you can- join a self-defense class- recent reports have shown that most women just don’t take the pain to learn the art.. (including me!)
4. Be vigilant- Women have very strong sixth sense… remember what we were told as kids- if a touch, a smile, a move, a person makes u uncomfortable stay very alert.
5. Inform your inner circle (your frens, your parents, your relatives, your colleagues) immediately of anything uncomfortable.
6. Stay happy but not foolish- Don’t be naïve enough to go on a long drive to a ‘sooonsaaaaaan’ place with ur male fren just because u think he is a fren and ‘he can never do this’. (By the way if he is just a fren he will never insist on anything like this in the first place.)
7. Don’t smoke/drink on somebody else’s insistence. Do what you think you want to do and when u are comfortable. It is usually when we are trying hard to fit in we start compromising on our inner instincts
8. Remember in today’s scenario…u are safer in groups.. if you have to travel alone ( which we have to) keep sending constant messages to ur parents/guardians/frens of ur whereabouts.
Think about it like this.. if you were robbed, your chain got snatched etc would u be at fault?
No!
Then how come when somebody passes a rude remark, and indecent look the world begins to decipher ‘how u should not have dressed’
I know the moment you stare back at a man staring at your assets.. he thinks you are ‘fast’, ’modern’, etc.
The moment you raise a toast to a friend.. some slimy idiots start imagining you in various ‘Mudras’
The moment you say ‘I drink’ some jerk thinks he has the pass to trespass.
Think what the world may… its my country, I have friends, relatives, colleagues and all sorts of males who I trust. And I will raise my voice against any voyeuristic fool who thinks against my modesty against my wish.
I am an independent, progressive and positive woman.. I refuse to let a handful of mean men intimidate me into oblivion.
Of course nothing puts such perverts in place more than a strong public action.
The government and the various well meaning (yet dumb- read NCW) institutions are working to put more stringent laws in place but I guess its more about walking the talk now…
What happens to the Dhobles of the world in such cases?
Where do the Shiv Senas (who are hell bent upon publically humiliating cozying consenting adults) disappear when a girl is molested, groped, raped, touched without her consent???
Why don’t the Khap panchayats kill molesters as against a couple that is bound by love?
I think its time we took the bull by its horns and if required by its balls!
The Media and all of us Indians are going crazy over the state of women in India, people quoting reports that India is amongst the 5 worst places to be born a woman…
I am a little disturbed by this blatant generalization of the state of women in India.
When I say disturbed- it doesn’t meant that I am not moved by how women are treated in certain societies in certain geographies. But I also know of parents, relatives, colleagues friends, neighbors, classmates who think the safety and modesty of the woman first.
I refuse to believe that men in general are rapists, voyeuristic and bad.
Yes, there are some and we need to weed them out.
Some of us are lucky enough to have never encountered an indecent remark, an indecent gesture or and indecent proposal. But whether we talk about it openly or not most of us have been a victim of such things at some point or the other.
While enough has been said on how the govt should act, how women should ‘NOT’ dress, How voyeuristic certain men are… I think its time we took up our own defense.
I think and I know as an India woman- I have the right to wear whatever I want, I have the right to be friends with any gender I want, I have the right to party and drink if I want, I have the right to go to any place I want , I don’t have curfew hours, I have the right to live alone/or with a partner, I have the right to pursue any career I want, the law doesn’t treat me any case lesser than my male counterparts.
If my independence, my attitude, my lifestyle intimidates anybody in the world its his problem not mine.
Having said that… there are many frustrated, personally and professionally dissatisfied, drunk perverts who will try and overpower the fairer sex in the only area that she’s weak in… Physical strength and ‘if something goes wrong with me its my fault’ attitude.
B@!!$ to such God forsaken jerks… Protect yourself and never ever think that if you have been a victim of any such situation –it is because you were wrong in the first place!!
What can we do
1. Keep the PCR (Police Control Room) number handy… Delhi it is 100… so if ever ( God Forbid) anything happens – just call the number immediately- trust me I have tried and it works
The biggest mistake we do is keep mum- ‘what will others think?’ ‘how will my parents react?’ Tough as it sounds call the police.
2. Keep a pepper spray- it is cheap, very easy to carry and very very effective. And for God’s sake don’t keep it inside the inner pocket of your multi-pocket ‘can’t find anything inside this’ handbag. Keep it handy.
3. If you can- join a self-defense class- recent reports have shown that most women just don’t take the pain to learn the art.. (including me!)
4. Be vigilant- Women have very strong sixth sense… remember what we were told as kids- if a touch, a smile, a move, a person makes u uncomfortable stay very alert.
5. Inform your inner circle (your frens, your parents, your relatives, your colleagues) immediately of anything uncomfortable.
6. Stay happy but not foolish- Don’t be naïve enough to go on a long drive to a ‘sooonsaaaaaan’ place with ur male fren just because u think he is a fren and ‘he can never do this’. (By the way if he is just a fren he will never insist on anything like this in the first place.)
7. Don’t smoke/drink on somebody else’s insistence. Do what you think you want to do and when u are comfortable. It is usually when we are trying hard to fit in we start compromising on our inner instincts
8. Remember in today’s scenario…u are safer in groups.. if you have to travel alone ( which we have to) keep sending constant messages to ur parents/guardians/frens of ur whereabouts.
Think about it like this.. if you were robbed, your chain got snatched etc would u be at fault?
No!
Then how come when somebody passes a rude remark, and indecent look the world begins to decipher ‘how u should not have dressed’
I know the moment you stare back at a man staring at your assets.. he thinks you are ‘fast’, ’modern’, etc.
The moment you raise a toast to a friend.. some slimy idiots start imagining you in various ‘Mudras’
The moment you say ‘I drink’ some jerk thinks he has the pass to trespass.
Think what the world may… its my country, I have friends, relatives, colleagues and all sorts of males who I trust. And I will raise my voice against any voyeuristic fool who thinks against my modesty against my wish.
I am an independent, progressive and positive woman.. I refuse to let a handful of mean men intimidate me into oblivion.
Of course nothing puts such perverts in place more than a strong public action.
The government and the various well meaning (yet dumb- read NCW) institutions are working to put more stringent laws in place but I guess its more about walking the talk now…
What happens to the Dhobles of the world in such cases?
Where do the Shiv Senas (who are hell bent upon publically humiliating cozying consenting adults) disappear when a girl is molested, groped, raped, touched without her consent???
Why don’t the Khap panchayats kill molesters as against a couple that is bound by love?
I think its time we took the bull by its horns and if required by its balls!
